Most Random Story That Was Ever Written By Woman
by MomoFoSho
Summary: I changed the title, but you can find the original version on Celine's [I.Am.SpiderMan]
1. The Day Dumbly Rebelled

B/N:: Hello and welcome to the world of random! Please review, and I hope you enjoy!

1. The Day Dumbledore Rebelled

Students were whispering and exchanging weird looks in the halls of Hogwarts. There was a new rumor aloof….

"What's going on? Celine joined Morganne and Sheena by their designated tree, her lipstick slightly smudged.

"Cedric?" Morganne nodded at Celine.

"Maybe…"

"Dumbledore's on strike!" Sheena exclaimed.

"What?" Celine frowned.

"Yeah, he was running around the halls nudy this morning," Morganne shuddered. "Not a great sight."

"I'm convinced Snape poisoned him," Sheena added.

"Dang, that's not like him at all…"

"I even saw him and Prof. Sprout getting jiggy with it!"

"Ew," this time Celine shuddered.

"Oh my-"

"Hee-hee! Oh-ho! I'm a bunny rabbit!" Dumbledore was frolicking through the fields of lilacs, still in the nude. Luckily, the lilacs were very tall. His arms were flailing through the air and a pair of bunny-ears was on his head.

"Maybe he got a hold on Fred and George's stash of-"

"They have a stash?!" Celine exclaimed. "How do you know?"

"I have my ways…" Morganne smirked. "Anyway-"

"Is he trying to hip-hop dance, or is it just me?" Sheena covered her mouth.

"No…he's trying to do ballet…" Celine corrected.

"This is revolting yet entertaining," Morganne laughed.

"You're so weird!" Celine giggled.

"We all are in our own special way," Morganne tried to keep a straight face.

"Now look-"

"No way-"

"Is he-"

"Yes!"

"Dumbledore's really dancing with Draco…Malfoy?!"

"Oh my gosh!" Sheena said, covering her mouth once again.

"You guys…why are we still watching?" Celine asked, turning away.

"Why are we?" Morganne turned away too. They started to walk away. "Sheena, are you coming?"

"This is too exciting!" Sheena said.

"Sheena! Come on!"

"I'll catch up to you!"

"Ugh! Fine!"

"Celine…are you going to wash your smudge off?"

"Oh yeah." Celine said, blushing and started to wipe it off with her sleeve.


	2. Voldy Goes Emoooo

Nombre Dos!

2. Voldemort Goes Emo

Morganne, Celine, and Sheena were sitting in the Common Room when Ron burst in through the window.

"What the-"

"Sorry guys…I made Hagrid mad…" Ron dusted off pieces of glass. "Well, see ya!" He jumped out of the window and fell to the ground.

"Okay, did that really just happen or…?" Celine frowned.

"It did," Morganne nodded.

"I didn't know Ron could fly!" Sheena exclaimed.

"Sheena…" Celine said, laughing. She hit her with her pillow and Sheena laughed.

"Hey!" Sheena hit Celine with her pillow.

They all started to have a pillow fight. Feathers came out of their pillows and slowly floated down.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Morganne quickly ran to it, before anybody could hit her again. She opened it and there stood George and Cedric.

"You have to see this!" George said, excited. "Bring the two of them with you!"

"Wait?" Morganne put both of her hands in front of her, "What is it?"

"It's Voldemort…He's gone EMO!"

"Emo?!" Celine said, hearing George talking to Morganne from quite a distance. She and Sheena ran towards them.

Voldemort was sitting in the grass on the Quidditch field. Tears were pouring down his face, and he was slitting his wrist.

"Nobody loves me!" He yelled. A razor blade was clutched in his left hand. "I only wanted world domination! Waah!"

"I'm dreaming!" Celine's mouth dropped open.

"If you are, can I pinch you?" Sheena asked.

"What?"

"I like to pinch people, don't make fun of me!"

Morganne stifled a laugh.

"I want eye-liner! Give me black liner!" Voldemort yelled. "Why does everyone hate me? I only killed _some _people!"

"Somebody get this guy some eye liner!" Cedric yelled

"Yeah, mate! Emo-Voldy needs his liner!" George snickered

"Let's get out of here," Morganne suggested.

"Please!" Celine rushed back to the castle, "I hate the site of blood."

"Why?" Morganne asked.

"It disturbs me."

Celine, Morganne, and Sheena headed towards to Gryffindor corridor, but Fred and Cedric stopped them.

"So…what did you think?" Fred asked.

"Disturbing," Celine replied.

The three of them started to head off, but Cedric grabbed Celine's hand.

"Come with me?"

"Cedric…I can't."

"Why not?" Cedric scowled.

"I'm tired," Celine looked away and pulled her hand away form Cedric's hand. She rolled her eyes and put her hands over her chest, "Plus, that Emo-Voldy thing, with the razor blade and the blood got to me tonight!"

"First of all, you're not tired-," Cedric grabbed her hand again, "Second, you're lying to me!"

"No I'm not!"

"Fine, I'll see you later!" he stormed away.

Celine sighed and continued on her way to her house. There, she met with Morganne and Sheena, who greeted her warmly.


	3. Dumbly Announcement

3. Dumbledore's Announcement That Disturbs Everyone But Snape

"C'mon, we're gonna be late!" Sheena led Celine and Morganne through the halls and down the stairs. Everybody was crowded in the Great Hall.

"Please, please settle down." Dumbledore yelled in the hall, his voice echoing. "I have something to _show_ you all!" Dumbledore then ripped his robe and showed his nudiness.

"Oh my eyes!" Morganne cried, covering her eyes.

Snape raised his eyebrow and checked Dumbledore out.

McGonagoll leapt from her chair and threw a table cloth over the headmaster.

"There's nothing to see here!" She yelled.

Snape looked away and stared into the hall. The students still cried and suffered.

"Quiet!" McGonagoll yelled. "It seems as though D. is going through a…phase. We'll just have to bite the bullet and cooperate. Now I would like everyone to return to their houses."

The students merged out into the halls and continued with their conversations.

"Bloody hell, Morganne. I can't believe we saw that!" Celine said, still frightened by the awful sight.

"What?" Morganne said, "That was amazing!"

"What a minute?...What?" She double checked.

"Just kidding!"

"God…you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"I almost got one back there." Sheena said.

"Shiver me timbers!" Celine said, laughing.

"I think Snape's 'timber' was shivering!" Morganne laughed also.

"They were not!" Snape hissed and pushed past the three.

"Oops." Sheena said. "Tisk, tisk!"


	4. Cold and Mort

4. Cedric's Caught With The Emo Voldemort

"Celine…"

"Huh, what?"

"Come here."

She followed the voice and she saw Cedric in the shadows. She hugged him warmly and kissed him.

"Where were you all this time? You said four-thirty…it's six o five!...Where were you?"

"With Voldemort."

"What?!"

"I mean, I was eating cold and mort…"

"Oh, okay!" Celine said. She was relieved; she thought he said 'With Voldemort!'

"So um…I got to go."

"Already? You just came?"

"Yeah…I have more cold and mort to eat," Cedric walked away.

Celine frowned with a shrug and started stalking him.

Cedric walked inside of an unusual room, and slammed the door behind him. Celine walked to the door and put her ear to it.

"…I can't stand living without you, Cedric."

"Me either."

"That's it!" Celine scowled and opened the door. She gasped at the sight of Cedric and Voldemort snogging violently. They broke apart as they saw her.

"Cold and mort?!"

"That's my nickname!" Voldemort smiled. "How did you know?"

"What? Cedric said he was eating cold and-," Celine thought for a second, "Ew, gross Cedric!"

"It _was_ good!"

"I'm going to barf!" Celine said, before waking up. She looked to her left and saw Cedric with a tray. She smiled warmly.

"I brought you some cold and mort," Cedric put the tray on her lap.

"No thank you…I don't have the appetite."

"But you like cold and mort?"

"I don't NOW!"

"Oh…um," Cedric said, picking up and setting the tray on her bedside table. "What do you want then?"

"Waffles!" Celine said grabbing a waffle maker and pressed it against her face, "I am the Waffler! I-,"

"Celine how many times have I told you that you aren't the Waffler?"

"10,709,312,989,453; so what?" She smiled. "Waffle man, I am the waffler, golden crispy bad guys are-."

Cedric shut her up with a kiss.


	5. MJ!

[eep

5. Attack Of MJ & The Boys

One day, Celine was reading the Daily Prophet when she noticed someone strange in a picture. It was a Muggle named Michael Jackson. She first thought his name was pronounced Michelle, but Michael was a man…in a way.

"Listen to this," Celine nudged Morganne and Sheena.

"Huh?" they turned their heads.

"A Muggle named Michael Jackson found out about wizarding schools, and is threatening to tell all the other Muggles unless the ministry does what he asked," Celine said.

"What does he want?" Morganne asked.

"A school under his command. Boys ages six to eleven would attend," Celine read. "He plans on preparing them for something."

"Nobody's ever 'prepared' me," Sheena frowned.

"Sheena!" Both of them yelled.

"What? What did I say?"

"Nothing Sheena," Morganne rolled her eyes, "I just can't believe our world might be in newspapers…television…EVERYTHING!"

"We have to report this! Before Michael gets to Sheena's little brother!"

"Yeah…how horrible."

Suddenly, music started to play blasting into the Hall. The grand oak doors opened and there stood a man in a velvet red suit with a white glove on one of his hands.

"OH NO! IT'S MJ!" Celine yelled, pointing towards the man.

The music playing ended up being one of MJ's songs, "Thriller."

Maybe Morganne, Celine, and Sheena were the only one's who knew about MJ. But one by one, students looked at MJ, then the Prophet, than at MJ again.

"Holy sh…" A kid almost yelled in the hall.

"We got to get out of here!" Celine said, to Morganne and Sheena.

"We need to do something about MJ first!" Sheena convinced them.

"I got it…" Morganne stood up on the bench and reached for her wand, "IMMOBULUS!"

Michael continued dancing.

"I'm Immu-ooo-ne to magic. Whoo-ooo!" MJ grabbed his crotch. "What the-" his smile disappeared. "I lost them!" He continued groping himself. "I lost my-"

"I'll help you find your-"

"No thanks!" MJ smiled when he saw Snape…dragging a first year. "But he can help me!" Michael grabbed the boy and ran to dungeons.

"We have to stop him!" Morganne yelled. "Super Duper Squad-,"

"UNITE!" They all stuck their hand in the middle and transformed into Superheroes.

Celine was Creature, Sheena was Girl of Speed, and Morganne was Flame Cinder.

"What the fu-," The same kid didn't finish his sentence.

Creature, Girl of Speed, and Flame Cinder disappeared and they reappeared in the dungeon.

"Stop right there MJ!" Morganne yelled.

"Oh…oh my! Hee-hee!"

"Good god!" Sheena exclaimed. "This man is half-naked!" Sheena picked up speed and threw clothes at MJ.

"Thanks Sheena. My eyes were bleeding." Celine said.

"You bleed out blood?" Sheena asked, grossed out.

Celine looked at her and drips of blood fell from her left eye.

"Yeah…I'm the Creature remember?"

"Oh…"

"Anyway…" Morganne grabbed the little boy and pulled him away from Mr. Jackson. "Now that we've saved him from clutches of evil-"

"Hee-hee, I'm the Child Molester!"

"The Child Molester? That's great!" Morganne said sarcastically.

"Can you just put him on fire, Morganne?"

"Love to."

Suddenly, MJ disappeared and they never saw him again…Or will they?? DUN-DUN-DUN


	6. The Reason

6. The Reason These Tables Are Numbered

Celine, Sheena, and Morganne walked into the Great HAll and were shocked that the tables were numbered.

"Weird," Morganne frowned.

"Sheena walked towards the Ravenclaw table and was about to pull off the peice of paper when Professor Sprout stopped her.

"There's a good reason these tables are numbered, honey, you just haven't thought of it yet."

"Isn't that a Panic! At the Disco song?" Morganne raised her eyebrows.

"No." Professor Sprout said, and walked away quickly.

"It is..." Celine whispered to Morganne, and slowly nodded her head.

"Huh...that's weird." Sheena turned around.

Some girls passed by Morganne and heard them talking, "...The reason these tables are numbered is because of date night and Panic! At the Disco is giving us a special concert!"

"What?!" Celine exclaimed, looking at Morganne.

"I have to find a date!" Morganne exclaimed. Just then, she saw a perfect head of hair and a charming smile. "I'll be back," She smirked. "Brandon...Oh Brandon!"

"Oh, hey Morganne!" Brandon turned around and gave her a smile, "What's up?"

"Do you want to go to the Date Night with me?"

"Oh...I'm sorry Morganne, I wish I could..."

"Oh...Okay..." Morganne frowned.

"Nah, just kidding...I'd love too!"

"Great!" Morganne smiled. "We'll meet here at quarter to eight!" She frolicked towards Celine and Sheena. "I've got a da--aa-te!" She taunted.

"So do I," Sheena announced.

"Who?" Celine and Morganne both demanded, wide-eyed.

"Richard Hopkins!" Sheena exclaimed.

"What?!" Both of them yelled in shock.

"Yeah."

"Well the thing is...I want to go with Dylan...But I'm going out with Cedric...What do I do?"

"I don't know..." Sheena frowned.

"Dump Cedric...hump Dylan," Morganne shrugged. ('Sorry, really perverse!' as said by morganne while writing this)

"God Morganne...You're a genius!" She played around, and ran to find Dylan.

"Sheena," Morganne turned to her, "You're going with Harry. He's much better than Richard..."

Celine was still running when she bumped into Dylan.

"Ow! I think you broke my finger!" he howled.

"Sorry," Celine apologized, "Hey..do you want to come to that...dinner or what ever that thing

is tonight with me?"

"I thought you were dating that pretty-boy Diggory?"

"We broke up," Celine lied.

"Oh...sorry to hear that...Well um-Sure...but I'll have trouble eating with my broken-"

"Stop whining and go see Madame Pomfrey," Celine instructed and left to tell her friends the news.


	7. P ATD

!whoa!

7. Date Night and Panic! At the Disco

Celine hadn't told Cedric that she was going with the Gryffindor Dylan yet, and was afraid

to. After she put on her poofy dress, she ran out of the corridor to find Cedric.

"Cedric!" Celine yelled at him, while running down the hall towards him, "We need to talk!"

"Is everything alright?"

"No..."

"Oh, well you'll feel better once we sit at our table and-"

"I'm going with someone else."

"What?" he exclaimed. "Who?"

"Dylan Butler. Sorry, but I just wanted to try taking a break for a while."

"Fun, I'll go see if Cho is still available," Cedric stromed out.

"Ced...we're still going out right?"

"Are you telling me that you still want to be with me, and you go with Dylan!?"

"Cedric! Take a chill pill, he's just a friend!"

Cedric suddenly slapped her across the face.

"What the hell did you just do?" Dylan said, approaching Celine.

"This little slut is going with you, when she should be going with me!"

"Don't make me hit you with my skateboard!"

Cedric stayed silent.

BAM Dylan hit Cedric with his skateboard that appeared out of nowhere, and he fell to the ground.

"Ready?" he turned to Celine.

"As I'll ever be!" They linked arms.

"Hi Brandon!"

"Hey Morganne...You look beautiful...Stunning!"

"Thank you," Morganne turned red.

"Let's go to our table."

"Let's." Morganne smiled.

Dumbledore came to the stage. "Now before Panic! comes to perform...We shall do the waltz."

"The Waltz?!"

"Shall we Celine?" Dylan asked.

"I'd love to."

Cedric watched angrily and slouched in his chair. His eye already formed a bruise around it.

"Morganne?" Brandon asked.

"Yes."

"C'mon," Brandon dragged her onto the dance floor.

A few minutes passed, and Panic! At the Disco finally arrived. They began to play.

"Build God, Then We'll Talk!"

They started to play the request!

"Zo-My Gosh!" Morganne yelled, "I love this song!"

"This is so much better than the Yule Ball!" Celine said, to Dylan.

"Totally!"

Everyone came crowding to the stage and they jammed to the music. Then, "Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking all her clothes off" started to play.

They continued playing songs until everybody collapsed dead. Well, not dead, just exhausted.

"Woooo!" That was great!" Celine panted next to Morganne on the floor.

"Yeah!" Morganne inhaled deeply, "Great!"

"More!" Everybody yelled and Panic! At the Disco played a song nobody had every heard.

"So how was your night, Morganne?"

"Splendiful." Morganne smiled, "You?"

"Great! Except for me and Ced arguing."

"You'll both get over it," Morganne shrugged. "Now, let's go to bed."


	8. Hugh Dancy

[Thanks for reading our insane raves! Please review if you get a chance!

love love love!

3

8. Morganne & Celine Fight Over Hugh Dancy

The Great Hall filled with students, and Dumbledore had a huge announcement.

"We have a special guest-"

He walked through the Hall and there walked Hugh Dancy.

"Oh My God! Hugh Dancy!" Celine yelled.

"He's mine!" Morganne yelled, towards Celine.

"No, he's mine!"

"Oh yeah?" Morganne leapt from her seat and tackled Hugh.

"No!" Celine gasped and tackled Morganne and Hugh.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Ladies, ladies!" He got Celine and Morganne's attention. "Please! I'm human!"

"...Oh, sorry Hugh." Morganne got up and frowned. Followed by Celine.

Harry sat across from Morganne and Celine, and they talked about Hugh.

"You guys are obsessive."

"Of who?"

"Hugh."

"We are not obsessive...we just think intensely!" Celine replied.

"An obsessive interest," Harry scowled.

"What's wrong, Potty?" Draco walked by sneering. "Jealous?"

"Please, Malfoy, you're the one who's jealous," Morganne smiled. "You don't get to sit with us two sexy beasts daily."

"Shut up!" He scowled and walked away.

"Morganne...How come you always have good comebacks...I have no good comebacks...they're usually, 'your mean' and they'll say back, 'your ugly!' "

"That's because you're stupid!"


	9. iPod Aliens

9. Aliens That Live In iPods and Feed On Pencils and Attack Hogwarts

All was calm and mild ast the magical school at Hogwarts when, suddenly, screams erupted all over the school grounds.

"What the heck is going one?!" Morganne said, clinging onto Harry.

"I don't know," Harry looked around.

"Dylan! Brandon!" Morganne yelled towards them two, "What's going on?"

"We don't-"

"Ahhhh!" Celine ran through the halls and passed Morganne.

"Celine?!" Morganne cocked an eyebrow.

Suddenly, aliens came running after her.

They we're extremely huge with little ears and big ears. Their bodies were the most revolting purple ever. All of them carried laser guns/lightsabers in their huge hands and were striking out at random people.

"What are we going to do?"

Morganne put both of her hands out in front of her, and thought hard. The aliens suddenly stopped and froze.

"What the-Morganne?!" Brandon said, with excitement in his voice, and at the same time shocked,

"I didn't know you had the force!"

"Didn't I tell you..." Morganne looked over her shoulder and cocked an eyebrow, "My father's a jedi!"

"No!" They all yelled.

"Must've slipped my mind," she shrugged.

"We better get everyone out before-"

"What's that in the sky?" Celine looked out the window.

"It's a bird," Morganne flatly stated.

"It's a plane," Brandon frowned.

"No, it's Superman!" Celine exclaimed.

Superman flew down and walked towards the group.

"I heard there was an...alien here?" Superman put his hands on his hips and smirked towards them.

"More like _aliens_." Dylan corrected him.

"You don't correct Superman, Dylan!" Brandon said.

"Why not?"

"Because he's Superman!"

"Shut up! We have a major crisis here!" Celine yelled.

"Stay here!" Superman instructed.

Superman stood in fornt of the aliens and used his laser vision on them. The aliens burned and died.


	10. Sexy Emo Vampire

10. Cedric: The Sexiest Emo Vampire

One night, a bat was trapped inside the Hufflepuff house. It snuck into the boys dormitories and began to feed on an unsuspecting victim.

Roger woke up and flung the curtains open. Yellow sunlight flooded the dormitory.

"Close those!" Cedric screamed and hid under his blankets.

Roger quickly did so, and looked at him in a blank stare. He walked towards Cedric and stared down at him.

"Cedric...are you okay?" Roger poked him constantly.

"No...I'm not," Cedric scowled, still under he covers. "Are the curtains closed? Are they?"

"Yes Cedric, and for the love of god what's going on?" Roger demanded.

Cedric slowly pulled the covers down and showed his completely white pale face.

"Ced, are you alright?" Roger placed his hand on his forehead and felt nothing but coldness gainst his warm hand. "You're really cold!"

"I'm fine really?" Cedric sat up.

"No, you're not! Jack, get Celine and Madame Pomfrey.

"Why her?" Jack replied.

"She's his girlfriend..." He replied angrily, "Go! Now!"

"Why am I doing this?" Celine said walking up to the boy dorms, looking at Morganne. "If he treats me like crap, then why should I care for him?"

"Celine...he still cares about you...he loves you."

She let out a sigh and finished to walk up the stairs, and opened the door. She saw Cedric in bed getting worse. She started to cry.

"Cedric...oh my god," Celine walked towards him, and putting her hand on his cheek, "Are you okay?"

"He isn't..." Roger replied.

1 hour later

"Is he alright?" Celine asked Madame Pomfrey. They were standing in the dark hospital wing.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Dunnet, but Mr. Diggory is a...vampire," Madame Pomfrey shook her head sadly.

"What?" Celine exclaimed, "But-"

Just then, Morganne stormed in, an odd expression on her face.

"He's gay!" she yelled.

"Who is?"

"That great head of hair!" Morganne shook her head. "He used me to get to Harry..."

"Wait, Harry's-"

"No!" Morganne shook her head. "I felt bad for Harry...having to tell Brandon that he was straight."

"Sounds awful," Celine sighed.

"So, what's going on with Ceddy-kins?"

"He's a vampire."

"Well that's just fabulous! I think you're guy trauma is worse than mine!"

"Well..."

"What?"

"What are we going to do?"

"About what?"

"Hello! Do you see what's going on here?! Cedric is a vampire!"

"Oh right! Let him suck your blood." Morganne suggested.

"No!" Celine placed her hand on her neck.

"Miss Dunnet? Mr. Diggory is emo too."

"Oh...really?" Celine might have thought second thoughts.

"Emo...great!" Morganne threw her arms in the air and left.


	11. Kinda Cured and Mad Eye

11. Cedric's Cured, But Isn't Cured for Being Emo And Mad-Eye Falls In Love With Him.

"How are you feeling?" Celine asked Cedric.

"Fine." Cedric smiled.

"You're cured," She nodded slowly, and grinned, "But...you're still emo."

"Great..." Cedric still smiled.

"Sorry Ced, I have to go," She stood up and pointed towards him, "Stay emo!"

"Hey...do you still love me?"

"We'll have to see."

"Where's Mad Eye?" Celine asked, entering the classroom.

"I have no clue." Sheena replied.

"Guys!" Morganne ran into the classroom. "I just heard something, and I ran all the way from Trelawney's to tell you!" Her face was a beet red color and she was breathing loudly.

"What?" Sheena and Celine exclaimed.

"M-M-Moody-hold on, I need water," Morganne waved her wand and took a big gulp of water. "Anyway, Moody tried to rape Cedric! He said he-"

"Whoa! Rape Cedric?" Celine gasped.

"Yes," Morganne frowned. "Moody claimed that him and Cedric were in love, but Ced denyed ever saying that," Morganne informed them.

"What's Dumbledore-"

"Dumbly doesn't care about anything anymore," Morganne shook her head slowly.

"Is he getting old!?" Sheen asked.

"Sheena!" Celine looked towards her, "He's already old...I have to go see Cedric!"

"Cedric," Celine opened the hospital wing doors, and found Cedric and Moody doing something that was way disturbing for her eyes, and covered them, "Oh my god!"

"Oh..." Moody got up and started to walk towards Celine, "Uh-I guess I'll leave." He stormed off.

Celine looked at Cedric and walked over to him.

"What was that?" Celine demanded.

"Nothing," Cedric turned his head.

"Cedric! You and Mad-Eye were...ewww!"

"It wasn't my fault!"

"You should have said no!"

"Love has restrictions," Cedric muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Cedric...I still have something for you...and if you won't tell me..."

"What?"

"I'lll go with Dylan."

"I can't."

"You can't?"

"No."

"Then leave!"

"I will."

"Good-bye!"

"Good-bye!"


	12. Robin Williams

11. Robin Williams Replaces Mad-Eye and Sheena Finds Out He's A Barbarian Genie Who Likes To Dress Like An Old Named Mrs. Doubtfire, And Sheena Can't Tell Because She Lost Jumanji To Him.

Sheena came into the Gryffindor girls dorm and went to Morganne and said, "We have a new teacher for DADA...someone replaced Mad-Eye."

"Thank god!" Celine got in the conversation, "He won't rape Cedric anymore."

"Ewwww..."

"Well, it's true."

"Who's the new teacher?" Morganne changed the subject.

"Robin Williams."

"Why is he here?"

"I can't tell..."

"Fine!" Celine scowled.

"GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!" Robin said, to the class. "Sorry...that's from one of my movies."

"Morning," The class mumbled.

"I will be your new DADA teacher. No need for Professor Williams, just call me Robin."

"Isn't Robin a girl's name?" Draco snickered.

"It just may be...but isn't Draco a boy's name, Miss Malfoy?"

Draco scowled.

"Nice Robin...I give you claps for that one!" Morganne laughed, and clapped.

"Thank you, thank you. Now some of you might have heard about Mad-Eye...I'm sure Cedric has..."

Cedric slouched in his chair.

"Come on pretty boy...Tell us!" Draco demanded.

"Leave him alone, Draco!" Sheena yelled.

"Why did you have to mention that, Robin?" Celine stood up.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Sexy Dunnet," Robin smiled.

"What?"

"Hmm? Oh-nothing..."

"Pervert!" Celine yelled and walked away.

She walked towards the Black Lake.

Just then a meteor hit the Earth and everyone died except everybody.

Icky space goo covered everything and nothing.


	13. Third Task and Something Else

Morganne Falls In Love With Brendon Urie, Who Wants To Marry Her, Cause She's So Hot, But Draco Won't Let Them Cause He's A Jealous Freak And Morganne Wishes He'd Just Let Her Marry The Love Of Her Life Before She Goes Emo or Serial Killer-ish.

"What the hell are you doing?" Draco asked harshly, grabbing Morganne's arm.

"What?" She turned around.

"You'd rather marry that emo rocker and not me?"

"Is that really a hard question?" Morganne cocked an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?!"

"Draco!" Celine said, walking up to them. "Leave her alone! She doesn't want to be with you."

"Celine...you've gone...emo?" Morganne asked, looking up and down on Celine.

"I only like the style," She smiled, but when she looked at Draco, the smile turned to a frown.

"Let go of her! Or else..."

"Or else what?" Draco smirked towards her.

"I'll yell out in the Great Hall what you've 'done' to Dumbledore, tonight at dinner!"

"Damn right!" The emo Cedric yelled out.

Celine's eyes rolled to the back of her head, and sighed, "Shut up, Cedric!"

"Anything but that," Draco let go of Morganne's arm, "No!"

"Thanks Celine!" Morganne smiled.

"Why don't you love me?!" Cedric yelled again at Celine.

"I'll love you!" Draco slithered back.

"Oh god no!" Celine kicked Draco, who then ran away.

She ran up to him and grabbed the collar of his cloak and kicked in the crotch. He moaned and groaned, and curled up in a ball.

"Now you can't fu-"

"Celine...Let's go," Morganne said, pulling her away gently. "We need to go to class."

"There's one thing I have to do..."

Celine ran up to Cedric and slapped him across the face.

"You look like an Emo fag!"

**That Night**

Morganne, Celine, and Sheena were sitting around a fire in the Forbidden Forest, telling their secrets.

"...Okay-okay!" Celine smiled, "I want to be emo because I want to get with Brendon Urie!"

"What?!" Morganne exclaimed. "We're supposed to get married!"

"I'm sorry-I didn't know!"

"I thought I told you?"

Celine thought for a couple of moments.

"No...I don't think so."

"Celine-" Sheena said, quietly in her ear, 'Maybe you'll be off with Cedric."

"Ugh!" Celine sighed. "I'm sorry Morganne..."

"You should be, Cel-Where are you going?" Morganne stood up.

"I'm going to find myself someone..."

"Okay, but stay away from Brendon..."

"Maybe Orlando Bloom would be okay..." Celine whispered to herself.


	14. Umm whoa

Celine's Bologna Has A First Name, It's O.S.C.A.R

Celine didn't find Orlando Bloom, so she just unded up with Cedric AGAIN.

"Cedric...you're a dad!" Celine held up a piece of Bologna. "His name is Oscar!"

"Oh...alrighty then..." Cedric looked at the yummy piece of Bologna.

"No really, this is you son!" Celine exclaimed.

"That's impossible..."

"No, it isn't!" Celiine said, "You see...If you put 'meat' in a 'sandwich' and you somehow get 'mayo' together...you get this!" She held up Oscar.

_(wow...that was REALLY perverted)_

"Celine are you high on something?"

"_Our bologna has a first name, It's O.S.C.A.R, Our Bologna has a second name it's M.A.Y.E.R, I like to smoke it everyday, and if you ask me why I'll say, 'Oscar Mayer has a way with B.O.L.O.G.N.A!"_

"You're definitelyhigh on something!"

"You won't care for our little Oscar?!" Celine petted the Bologna and was crying over it. "How could you?"

"Here, give him to me."

"Okay. I'll be back after dinner to pick him up," Celine walked away.

"Dinner?" Cedric cocked an eyebrow. "I am a bit hungery..." Hey eyed the lonesome bologna.

:D


	15. Celine's Bologna

Sorry, I made some mistakes on the chapter numbers, so don't mind them!

The Third Task & Something Else

Harry, Cedric and Viktor were all dead; Fluer had won.

"What are we going to tell Celine?" Sheena asked.

"The truth."

"But...she'll be heartbroken when she finds out who's dead!"

"Who's dead?" Celine walked up to Morganne.

"Not Cedric and Harry!" Sheena quickly said.

"Nice," Morganne rolled her eyes.

"Cedric _and_ Harry are dead? You're kidding right?"

"Sorry Celine..." Morganne put her hand on Celine's back.

"Oh my god!" Tears rolled down her face.

Just then, Celine woke up. Only Fluer had died, because she's a dumb blonde whore! tee-hee

"Wooo," Celine sat up, "It was just a dream."

"What?" Cedric said.

"Ced...what are you doing?...You're next to me - Oh Crap!"

"What you wanted to!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"Um...you do it for me!" Celine shuddered and ran out. She couldn't believe she just told him to-

"Celine!" Morganne and Sheena were carrying armloads of candy.

"Where'd you get all that?"

"Fred and George...don't eat one...we still haven't found out what they do."

"Oh come off it!" She laughed. "It's probably fine."

Morganne and Sheena were about to enter the room, the same room that Cedric was -

"You...shouldn't go in there!"

"Why?"

"Just trust me!"

"Why not Celine!?" Morganne demanded.

Morganne pushed Celine out of the way, and opened the the door.

"MY EYES!" Morganne and Sheena came running back out.

"I think he was giving himself a 'spasm,' " Morganne shuddered.


End file.
